12 March 2018

Race Recap: St. Malachi Church Run

Saturday was the annual St. Malachi Church Run which, if you've been following this blog long enough and/or have read Running With a Police Escort, you know is one of my most favorite runs in all of Cleveland. This was my sixth time running it! (Recaps: 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017)

Last year, local racing organization Hermes got into a bit of hot water regarding the St. Malachi Church Run.

Okay, that's being kind. It was a fucking PR nightmare for them because the church told Hermes they were going with a different organizer because they felt Hermes was keeping too big of a cut. This is a charity run after all and St. Malachi was getting a really, really small percentage of each registration. So then Hermes basically sued the church, telling St. Malachi they couldn't call future races the St. Malachi Church Run. Yes, Hermes told the church that Hermes owned the rights to the church's name. Soooo yeah it went over real well with local runners. Luckily Hermes wised up and is having their own St. Patrick's themed race next weekend.

Anywho, this year it was with Greater Cleveland XC and I gotta say, it was really well done. There was a new course which did not involve running down the hill in the Flats. The start and finish was right on the Detroit Bridge and it was very festive.

Admittedly I was super worried about the weather: we got hit hard by snow Thursday and Friday and while the snow was still there on Saturday, the roads were clear and the temperature was in the low-to-mid-30s. That's like a sauna compared to previous years (I'm looking at you, 2013).

I opted for the 2 mile run again this year, mostly because, well, I haven't been running.

Believe me, it's so awkward to admit that when I have a book out about running.

That said, I actually ran part of the race today! I did my intervals and probably ran a little less than half, but it's more than I've run in awhile so I'm happy with it. It also almost got that running bug back. I had these moments of 'Oh, right, this is why I used to love this sport.' So hopefully I'll be able to keep up the momentum going forward.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

20 February 2018

Juggling Jill

Hey, remember at the beginning of the year when I was all "I am so totally going to blog more often"?


I had the best of intentions but then life -- as it does -- found a way to make me busy. This is pretty much what I've looked liked for the past few weeks:

But also? I have no idea what the fuck to write about. 

This is the problem when you have a somewhat niche blog like this. I could talk about things outside the "healthy living blog" sphere but they wouldn't really be appropriate for this space.

I can blame it on how busy work has been or how time consuming Memoir #2 has been (not running related, so also not appropriate to talk about here).

The truth is I honestly just feel like I have literally run out of things to blog about.

So if anyone has any suggestions for what I should write about, feel free to pass them along.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

05 January 2018

Word of the Year

I haven't done a word of the year in a couple years and I didn't really plan on doing one this year, but one word kept inserting itself into my life.


Zero: The number of fucks I give. Seriously, y'all. I have so much shit going on in my life that I literally just do got give a fuck about the little things. Like, at all. I've said this for years, but 2018 is the year when I literally live this attitude.

Zero: The number of pounds I have to lose. It's that time of year when dieting (or anti-dieting) is on the forefront of so many people's minds and it's not on mine. Because I do not have to lose any weight no matter what society or our culture or any of that bullshit tells us. Also, like I said the other day, I have bought my wedding dress already so I'm kind of locked in because even if I were to lose weight, they can only take those things in so much before it wrecks the dress. That said, I ALREADY BOUGHT MY WEDDING DRESS. So I can't be all lazy and gain weight either. I'm LOCKED IN to that really pricey garment so I DO have to, at the very least, maintain my current weight so I still fit into it come September 1st. That means employing mindful eating techniques and not eating crap all the time and, yes, watching what I eat. But not necessary so I lose weight, just to maintain.

The last two times I was a bridesmaid, it was a little touch and go there with the dress as we got closer to the wedding. In particular, for my BFF's wedding: It had very tiny spaghetti straps but I have very not-tiny bosom so I was going to wear one of those convertible bras with the clear straps. The day of the wedding, the top was so tight I didn't need the clear straps. It was like an unintentional corset.

Over the years, I have stressed enough about fitting into dresses the day of, I am not dealing with that when it comes to my big white poofy dress.


Zero: The number of things I have to explain, defend, or justify. This kind of ties into the first one but for all my bravado, my anxiety makes me second guess myself and my choices often. But I want to be someone who carries herself through the world confident in herself and in her decisions and that means not apologizing when I'm right, or overusing soft language to make my point. (When correcting people, I am guilty of often saying "I think X and y" when I KNOW for a fact it's X and Y.) This doesn't mean I get to be an asshole about things, but it's important for me to speak in a way that affirms what I know and what I bring to the table. It also means I get to say No to things without explaining why I'm saying no. (I mean, obviously there are personal and professional elements at play with some of this but you get my point.)

So there you have it, by word of the year. Do you have a guiding word for 2018?

Use coupon code NEWYEAR2018 to save 18% on signed copies of my memoir Running With a Police Escort! Code is good for entire store, so pick up a matching Bondi Band, too, to wear on your runs.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

01 January 2018

New Year -- Do You

It's a new year and one of my resolutions / goals is to become a more consistent writer at this here ol' blog of mine. Admittedly, everything with the book and work and life has pushed this down the priority list but I'm hoping to correct that in 2018.

Given that it is New Years Day, I've been thinking a lot about resolutions, as I'm sure many of us are. Sometime I set them, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I set goals instead.

Over the years, my attitude towards setting weight loss resolutions / goals has shifted, obviously. I will say this though: I weigh the same this year as I did this time last year. I legitimately cannot remember the last time that happened. I'm not exaggerating, either. I spent decades of my life yo-yo dieting year to year. Up and down, 20-30 pounds in either direction. DECADES OF MY LIFE PEOPLE.

So, yes, I'm heavier now. Much heavier. That's evident if you look at any picture from this year and then go back far enough in my archives to when I was at my lowest. First, I spent a couple of years losing 30+ pounds a year, then I spent a few years gaining 30+ pounds a year. This is why the fact that I weigh the same now as I did a year ago is such a big fucking deal.

And the thing is, I'm not going to apologize or explain or defend anything. My body is my body and my choices and my decisions. I'm the one that has to live in it and if I'm okay with it, then just everyone else can shut the fuck up.

The thing about being a blogger is that while I put a lot of my life out there in the world, that doesn't mean I put all of my life out there in the world. There have been things happening in my personal life that I just don't feel like talking about but have given me an attitude where I am literally all out of fucks to give about anything whatsoever related to what anyone else thinks about me.

Plus, I already bought my wedding dress so I'm pretty much locked in.

Over the years, my attitude related to dieting and body image has shifted as I've grown comfortable in my body and taking up my space in the world. I was also, admittedly, super judgey.

Before, I was, obviously, super pro-diet and got all up on my high-horse about people who chose the surgery route. Now, I have friends who made that choice and have been very successful and put the fucking work in and good for them because that's a commitment in a totally different way. Then, when I wasn't dieting and was very anti-diet, I'd get all judgemental

My attitude now?

Do whatever the fuck you want.

Seriously. If you want to go on a diet, go on a diet. If you don't, then don't. If you want to take up an exercise routine, great. If you don't, great.


It's your life and it's your body and YOU and only YOU are the one that has to live in it. So make whatever resolutions or goals or decisions that YOU are comfortable with.

Because, honestly, we are all judgmental as fuck and it's exhausting. Remember all that bullshit when Starbucks released their stupid unicorn frap? Jesus Christ. Why the fuck do you, random person on the internet with a social media platform, care so fucking much if someone else orders a goddamn unicorn frap? Are they forcing YOU to drink one? No? Then shut the fuck up and let them drink their goddamn pink drink.

2018: The Year of Zero Fucks Given.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

04 December 2017

Race Recap: Christmas Story 5K

For the past few months, whenever I've done an author event for Running With a Police Escort, during the Q&A portion I inevitably am asked "Do you have any races coming up?"

I've always said the Turkey Trot (which, ooops, forgot to blog about!) and mention that I'm thinking about doing the Christmas Story Run, mostly because the medal this year is a spinner and magical and omg.

Right, so, a couple Thursdays okay I was doing the Turkey Trot 5K and near the finish line we passed the casino downtown which has this digital billboard thing outside. Right as I was going by there was an ad for the Christmas Story 5K/10K with the date being December 2, 2017.


(I waited until Cyber Monday, hoping there would be a registration coupon floating around 'cause it's a little pricey but there wasn't but I wanted that medal so whatever.)

Those that have been following this blog for awhile and / or read my book know that I love this race. When also asked during author events my favorite race, I usually mention this one in conjunction with the Shawshank Hustle. Both races are based on favorite films but after having done this one again, it might eek out ahead just because of it being filmed here in Cleveland.

The race offers a 5K and 10K option, after doing the 10K in 2013 and 2015, I opted for the 5K this year. (I didn't run last year because I had just gotten cleared post injury and I didn't run in 2014 because I didn't like the medal. True story.)

The course starts downtown Cleveland at Public Square near what used to be the old Higbees building. That scene with Ralphie visiting Santa and getting pushed down the slide? That was filmed there!

It's a casino now and I admittedly lost $20 while waiting for the race to start LOL. But I was hardly the only person hanging out there waiting. Lots of pink bunnies gambling, let me tell ya.

Speaking of, people really get into the costumes for this race. Oh, sure, there's lots of general Christmas / holiday outfits going on but there are also a gazillion pink bunnies and leg lamps and robbers in black and white striped tops. I went as a pink bunny the first year and this year I realized that with my black pants I could easily have gone as a robber if I had actually, y'know, thought about it and registered in advance.

From there, the course goes across the Lorain Carnegie bridge towards the Tremont neighborhood and through the streets there. The 5K ends at the house while the 10K turns around and goes back towards Public Square.

Because I've always done the 10K I never knew what the finish line at the 5K was like and it turns out, that's where the party is! Like, for real. There was a beer garden and your registration included a ticket to tour the house and there's the gift shop and all sorts of stuff. They also had an MC shouting out people's times and encouraging words as they were crossing the finish line which was so fun. So, yeah, 5K from here on out, yo.

This year's theme was I Triple Dog Dare You and the medal is a spinner: flick and the leg lamp spin in the middle and omg.

I can't believe I almost didn't sign up for this. Like, what the fuck were you thinking, Jill?

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus
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