15 December 2014

mama's still got it

I admittedly have not been running at all since mid-October and the Running the Bridges  race. I completed the Bernie Shuffle 5K a couple weeks later, but that I walked so I've been a little out of practice in the actual running arena.

But then I was announced as a CLEmarathon Ambassador and decided I'm running the half and then I registered for the St. Malachi 5 mile race which is held every March and then I started to get a little nervous.

My awesome sister has started doing Couch to 5K and is totally rocking it. I know this for a fact because she was in town over the weekend and Saturday morning we went to with our dad to his gym and she and I were on side-by-side treadmills and I got to watch her. For someone who has never run before she's killer and runs at a really nice pace.

A couple weeks ago I mentioned to her that I was considering doing C25K over again as a means of getting back into my running groove. That's how I started running way back in the beginning, about two years ago, and it clearly worked and it seemed like a good way to get back to basics in a way. But while we were at the gym I decided to just see where I am in terms of running after taking so much time off.

When I trained for the Cleveland Half back at the beginning of the year, I built a playlist that included walking breaks. Utilizing armed forces marching chants for the walking segments, I would walk about 3 minutes, run 12-13, rinse and repeat. It worked really well and I'm planning doing the same thing when I train for the 2015 half.

So the playlist is still on my Spotify app and so on Saturday while at the gym I decided to try it out, again, just to kind of gauge where my body is at this point. Turns out, I'm still in pretty good shape! I did two miles on the treadmill with the run/walk alternating and while I was my usual slow self, considering I haven't been running at all I was quite happy with my ability to keep running for those 12 or 13 minute segments.

Obviously being able to run 2 miles is still a long way off from being able to run 13.1 but luckily I'm not training yet and I'm still planning on starting C25K over again as a means of starting to train for St. Malachi and to build up my legs a bit more to conquer those 5 miles.

Even better, though, I got done with those two miles and felt amazing. Part of my recent retreat from running was from having lost my mojo but those miles were one of those runs were I was reminded of why I love running so much. Hopefully I can jump on that motivation train and keep it going.

Love from the ashes
Lady Lazarus

06 December 2014

writing and racing and blogging, oh my!

So, suffice it to say things have been a wee bit busy over here in my corner of the Land of Cleves, but all in really awesome ways. For starters, I know I've mentioned I've been working on a book. It's non-fiction, about my hometown, and the rough draft of the text is due to my editor exactly one month from today. So, y'know, if you don't see me out and about in the ol' social media sphere over the next four weeks, that's why.

(BC is going out of town for New Years to attend a concert with his friends and last night I told him to not take it the wrong way but I'm actually glad he won't be here because I'm gonna be holed up in my apartment writing that final week of 2014 and this way I won't feel bad about abandoning him.)

Second, thank you to everyone who donated or registered for my Virtual #Birfday5K! Medals arrived and I'm so pleased with them, like I can't even. Hosting the 5K made a huge dent in my progress and your generosity means so much to me and my favorite non-profit the Cleveland International Film Festival so THANK YOU.

I'll be mailing them out this weekend and because I had to buy in bulk I have a few leftover if anyone would like to register at a reduced price and help me get a little closer to that sponsorship goal....... (*wink wink*)

Third, I've had two awesome opportunities come my way. The first was finding out I was chosen to be an Ambassador for the 2015 Cleveland Marathon! Among other things this means I get a free race entry to any of the marathon weekend events and I'm going to use this as a chance to tackle my third half-marathon. After the rough 2014 half and then the RnRCLE getting cancelled I just need to run at least one more to know that my first half marathon wasn't a fluke.

Next, I'm now part of the oh-so-awesome FitBloggin Social Media Team! I'll be manning the Twitter feed Monday mornings so be sure to say hi. For awhile now I was worried I financially wouldn't be able to attend FitBloggin in June for financial reasons but after looking things over again I think I'll be okay after all.

Finally, of course, my weight loss. I fully earned the 3.4 pounds I gained after Thanksgiving although, to be honest, I did okay the day of. The majority of that weight came from the prior six days. I lost .8 at my meeting yesterday which I was a little disappointed by, hoping for more. (Luckily Kelly snapped me out of that way of thinking!)

Our meeting focused on the whys of weight loss. Why did we walk through that door to our very first meeting? Why do we want to lose weight? The interesting thing is that I participate in a weekly Weight Watchers chat on Twitter each Wednesday and we had already done this so when we were writing our lists in my meeting I had already had my answers. But then something my leader said gave me pause and I had to confront another why that I had been trying really really hard to ignore. And before I knew it I was in the middle of my meeting crying like an idiot. Luckily I don't think anyone noticed -- except, of course, for my leader who gave me a hug after the meeting -- and I'm fairly confident that I'm far from the first person to cry in a meeting.

The reason itself is, well, maybe not unimportant but not something I really want to talk about at this particular moment in time. But I do know that I  can use it as momentum to keep moving forward because it honestly makes me question everything I said in my last post about not losing weight. I think there's a part of me that uses that as an excuse to not do the work, to not put forth the effort, to not have to address the whys.

If nothing else, this moment confirms it's important for me to continue to go to Weight Watchers meetings regardless of how I want to proceed with the number on the scale.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

24 November 2014

lost in losing limbo

I find myself in this weird state when it comes to my weight loss.

This past Friday I was down another .6, bringing my total weight loss to 10.6 since October 3rd. (And, just to point out, while I haven't been blogging as much lately, I'm still updating my progress page so even if there aren't posts, you can always check there to see how my week went.)

So here's where things get tricky because I find myself weighing what I weighed at FitBloggin back in June, which is great, but, again, this is the weight where I was able to really take a step back and say I'm totally okay weighing this and I really am okay weighing this and now I don't know what to do.

Over the weekend I had what I call Normal People Days -- those days where I eat like a "normal" person. That is, someone who doesn't constantly have to think about food all the time. I didn't make any really terrible decisions and I tracked everything I ate, but I fully anticipate a small gain at my next weigh in. But then I have to ask myself if that's really that big of a deal.

I love my Friday morning Weight Watchers meeting in a way I hadn't really anticipated. It's not just the leader (who I love) or the other members (who I also love). Everything just kind of clicks. When I went to meetings a year ago, I just don't think I was mentally in the right space to be there. But this time I find myself really looking forward to each meeting and I know, without a doubt, right now is the right time for me to be there.

I just am not sure if it's the right time for me to be trying to lose weight.

So, I suppose, the question is if it's weird to be going to meetings, paying the money, just to work on maintaining 235 for the foreseeable future? I mean, I tried maintaining on my own but didn't, which is why I ended up at WW just a couple months after FitBloggin. But, again, I get so much out of my meetings that go far beyond those few minutes at the beginning when I step on the scale.

I am fairly confident that I will not get back down to 175 ever again. I don't know if I'll ever get down to onederland ever again. But I also don't think I need to. Life is pretty damn good right now at 235 and I have to weigh (pun intended) the options of continually living a life spent chasing something I may not achieve or just saying Fuck It and rock what I got.

Maybe for right now I'll just try and maintain through the holidays which, as we all know, are full of danger days and then in January reevaluate.

Running a Turkey Trot on Thursday? There's still time to sign up for my Virtual #Birfday5K to score yourself another medal for the same race!

Love from the ashes
Lady Lazarus

15 November 2014

birfday shenanigans & weigh in

Hello and Happy Saturday!! Right now I'm nestled up in a big ol' cozy house in the Cuyahoga Valley National Park because it's gladsome time once again!

I had an absolutely lovely birthday that started by treating myself to a long overdue hair cut and a new set of knives! These are from Aldi and the set I have been using is, like, 10 years old (or close to it) so it was definitely time for an upgrade.

I love me my cooking so having a decent set of knives is essential.

 The rest of my day was just perfect, thanks in no small part thanks to the wonderful BC. We went to 16 Bit Bar for drinks -- it's a barcade which is exactly what it sounds like. As long as you're drinking (and it's all craft beer) you can play classic arcade games for free. (They do have pinball but that costs quarters.) We've been wanting to check it out since it opened but it's always so busy on the weekends so my birthday being on a Wednesday was the perfect opportunity.

Note: do not drink and play driving video games. It doesn't end well. LOL.

Drinking was followed by dinner at Jammy Buggers, which is another local favorite of ours.

I felt confident going into this week's weigh in and I was right to feel that way as I lost 2.6 pounds this week! That brings my total to exactly 10 pounds! My 5% is 12, so hopefully I'll be hitting that in the next few weeks.

I did do one new thing this week which was count points on the weekend and do Simply Filling during the work week. SF is super easy for me during the week because I will just make up some casseroles or soups or whatever that I know are SF on Sunday and eat those for lunch and dinner and I know what go to snacks and breakfast foods are SF as well. Weekends, however, are trickier because that's when I'm eating out more and it's not as structured or as easy to plan.

My first two weeks back on Weight Watchers, I was doing Simple Start/Simply Filling all the time and because of the weekends just eating all 49 points over the weekend and just eat Power Foods the week. That worked for awhile but then I had gains last week and the week before so it was time for a new plan. After looking at my food choices Friday and Saturday and realizing they weren't that bad, I decided to count points those days and then Monday through Thursday (even my birthday) it was Simply Filling and clearly that worked.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

12 November 2014

three three

Over the weekend, BC and I went to see "Interstellar" or, as he likes to call it, "McConaughey In Space." Not to give too much away (after all, River Song is my spirit animal so "Spoilers!" is my mantra), the film deals with space travel of such extreme distances that relativity not only comes into play but is actually a major plot point. I mention this only because, well, today is mah birfday so growing older is on my mind and usually this time of year I get a little bit nostalgic.

Truthfully, though, as I inch closer to my mid-thirties, I find myself less interested in looking back and more interested in looking forward.

The magic of PicMonkey

I spent most of my twenties, well, not exactly floundering but feeling a little lost. Like I had no idea what the fuck I was doing while all of my friends and family had all their shit together. Like the lovely Margaret Atwood once wrote, Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.

(Of course, now I realize pretty much everyone feels that way, they all just managed to hide it really, really well.)

My thirties started in Las Vegas on a family trip and started out pretty well, although thirty-one was a rough year but as I rounded the corner of thirty-two, things began to pick up steam and lots of really awesome things happened this past year, including the fact that I started dating BC and got a book contract, which I've been working on over the past couple of months (subject is not related to this blog). Both of these things are moving in a very positive direction that makes me excited and happy for the upcoming year and all the others coming after it.

So, I guess that's the difference this year. In the past I maybe never felt like I had anything concrete to look forward to as I got older and while, obviously, I have no idea what actually will happen in the future, I have a really, really good feeling about the direction my life is headed. Not just in a vague sort of semi-optimistic way, but in a life-affirming, positive, I have proof life is awesome kind of way.

Since today is mah birfday that means it's the LAST DAY to get the Early Bird pricing on my Virtual #Birfday5K. For more information on the 5K and why I'm choosing the Cleveland International Film Festival as my non-profit of choice, see this post.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus
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