It started about a year ago when I accidentally walked 6 miles one afternoon (long story). That evening a bunch of us were celebrating the one year anniversary of Anat. Massage Therapy (if you are in Cleveland, I recommend you go get a massage from my dear friend Lauren. Because she is awesome, her studio is awesome, and her massages are awesome) and Staci asked when I had done that day and I told her. I don't think she entirely believed me because she kept giving me this incredulous look, but, no, really, I accidentally walked 6 miles that day.
That's when she called me a warrior, a nickname that continues to this day. And along with being one of my biggest champions, she's also the friend that recommend I go to the Cleveland Running Company for my new running shoes. So, y'know, she has that going for her, too.
But, see, while Staci sees me as a warrior, I often have trouble with it. Sort of like the inspiration thing: because it's not a label I would use with regard to myself, I think it's weird when other people apply it. Now, the inspiration thing I have totally embraced and love. But a warrior? Not so sure about that one. I mean, what is a warrior anyway?
Warrior: A person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier. Um, yeah, no. A person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness, as in politics or athletics.
It's the courage bit that gets me. Deciding to start a journey to lose 150 lbs? Changing your entire eating and activity habits to do so? Committing to this heart and soul? Running your first 5K? Done and done. I never would have thought about it that way before, but yeah that shit takes courage. Believe me, it would have been so much easier to stay complacent and safe in my comfort zone. To not force myself mentally and physically to do things I've never done before. And while I think part of my trouble in accepting this label is the fact that I'm not done yet. I still have a long way to go. Yet this definition says shows. Present tense. Because along with starting this journey, I have to keep going and see it through and that takes just as much courage because it would be so easy to quit, too. Because, hi, this is hard work, yo.
Part of this whole journey is, of course, this blog. Putting myself out there like this also takes its own level of courage. But having this space is part of what keeps me going because I love sharing my journey with all of you, both the successes and failures.
This, believe it or not, is my 96th post here at The Year of the Phoenix. Crazy, right? My 100th is just around the corner and 100 is an important number. A milestone number, whatever the context. I mean, I'm getting my third tattoo when I lose 100 lbs, so naturally I want to do something fun for my 100th post if I can.
So that's where you come in.
For my 100th post, I thought it might be fun to do an audience participation type thing and see if any of you had any questions for ol' Lady Lazarus here. It could be exercise or weight-loss or even something not at all related to what I write about on this blog. If you have something you've been wanting to ask, now is the time to do so. You can leave a comment on this post, fill out my contact form, ask on Facebook or even Twitter. (This is also the perfect time for all of you lurkers to come out, since comments are moderated and nobody will know it's you!)
Seriously, people, this librarian is an open book. So ask away!
Love from the ashes,