So while I was more than happy to let you all know how my trip to Houston and very first 10K went, there is a small, minuscule chance I maybe, kinda, sorta, left out the part where I completely and willingly let "vacation mode" dictate my food choices.
Y'know. Vacation Mode. Where you think Oh, hell, I'm on vacation. I'm going to enjoy myself and not worry about calorie counting or points or any of that silly nonsense.
When it comes to blogging, it would be so easy to lie by omission and make y'all think I'm always on the ball and never skip workouts and always make the right choices when eating out. Or that I spent my entire weekend eating freaking salads or something ridiculous, instead of the plate of cheesy enchiladas and lots and lots of guacamole (it was made table side. How ingenious is that?!).
But that's not the reality. And, frankly, who wants to read about someone who is perfect all the fucking time? Boooooooring. Not only that, but reading about someone's pristine life, no matter the smoke and mirrors, makes you reevaluate your own and, in some cases, feel bad about yourself. That's not very motivating.
What is motivating is knowing that real people make bad choices, too. I knew I was on vacation mode and just sat back and let it happen. Knowing I was going out of town, I spent the few days leading up to the trip being very careful and on point. But then, in the span of about three days, I blew through all of my weekly points and my activity points. I have never done that before. I've never even come close to doing that before. It was so bad that by Sunday I was telling myself Welp, you've come this far and you weigh in tomorrow and can reset so you might as well go all the way and was far off in the dark scary No Tracking Zone and way over on everything.
Believe me, I deserved the number on the scale Monday morning and not even Friday's two mile or Saturday's six mile runs were able to save me. Well, actually, without those runs that number probably would have been much, much higher.
That's me being honest with myself and with you. But if I were being really honest with myself and you, I would admit that it's been going on for the past two weeks.
Since going into maintenance mode, I've gotten sort of, well, lax with my food choices. A big part of it was just the notion that after two years of tracking and watching everything I eat I was finally done. Not with the tracking or the watching, but done trying to lose weight. So I eased up a bit. Gave myself a bit of a break. Saw the six extra daily points that Weight Watchers and the 500 extra calories from MyFitnessPal as reason to, eh, not commit as much. After two years of constantly watching what I was eating, it was, well, nice to take a bit of a mental break and give myself permission to slack just a bit.
Wrong attitude to take, ladies and gents.
If anything, I need to be more committed than ever. The past two years were a sprint compared to the marathon of maintenance mode. This is it. This is life. This is how it is from now on and I can't let vacations or special events or holidays become an excuse to give up the healthy lifestyle I've worked my ass off for. Literally.
The past few days have been me fighting sugar cravings left over from the sugar and high calories consumed over the weekend. Might also explain why I've felt so tired and lethargic as of late: my body is detoxing. All I can do is take a deep breath and push on. As Winston Churchill also said, If you're going through hell, keep going.
Love from the ashes,