A couple of weeks ago, my cousin Claudine called me to invite me to attend a women's retreat she organizes called gladsome. She felt confident I could really gain something from the retreat (I suspect the thank you card I recently sent her after attending an event at her home had something to do with it) and more than just wanting me to be there, she wanted me to lead a small little yoga/stretch Sunday morning.
This was gladsome's second year and I missed last year and I admit I felt more than a little hesitant about attending this year. Looking back I'm able to recognize the reluctance came from wanting to stay inside my comfort zone. I like my lil cocoon and feel all awkward and introverted around new people, but I decided to take a leap and go for part of the weekend (Friday was my birthday celebration with friends).
I really am so very, very glad(some) that I went. Not only did I meet an amazing group of women and allowed myself to get back in touch with some of my more underutilized creative energies, but I also loved getting to share my story and love of yoga with others.
My own personal practice has been neglected as of late but as I led about eight women through a couple Sun Salutations I was reminded that there was a time where this is something I wanted to do. More than just wanting to possibly be a yoga instructor, after my brief class Sunday morning I think I'd actually make a good yoga teacher. I think I have so much to offer other people but I think only now do I actually really see that.
gladsome is held at this amazing old house in the Cuyahoga Valley National Park and as part of the decorating for the retreat, the organizers wrote out inspiring and creative quotes that they put above the fireplace mantel. Before leaving on Sunday we were allowed to take one if we felt so inclined.
I think this may need to become my mantra for my 32nd year. I don't know if I necessarily try to do it all -- I mean, I'm a single woman raising cats so it's not like I'm particularly stretched thin -- but, instead, I see this more as a call for me to live in the present more.
I have a very, very bad habit of reflecting on the past or looking forward to the future. It's hard for me to feel grounded and in the moment as I feel constantly anxious about something but nothing that is ever happening right then and there. I'm a day-dreamer as well (big surprise I'm sure) so it's not uncommon for me to be thinking about something far off in the distance and thereby be mentally checked-out from wherever and whatever I'm doing at that moment.
Just imagine how different my life and perspective would be if I put that same level of passion and energy into whatever I'm doing in the here and now. More than that, yes, there are things about my life I would like to change but I have to approach life as it is not how I want it to be. Sure, I can always make choices and do things that set that change into motion, but I also have to make choices and decisions based on where I am in my life right now.
So from now on that means choosing to do what I can and being where I am as fabulously as possible.
Love from the ashes,