24 November 2014

lost in losing limbo

I find myself in this weird state when it comes to my weight loss.

This past Friday I was down another .6, bringing my total weight loss to 10.6 since October 3rd. (And, just to point out, while I haven't been blogging as much lately, I'm still updating my progress page so even if there aren't posts, you can always check there to see how my week went.)

So here's where things get tricky because I find myself weighing what I weighed at FitBloggin back in June, which is great, but, again, this is the weight where I was able to really take a step back and say I'm totally okay weighing this and I really am okay weighing this and now I don't know what to do.

Over the weekend I had what I call Normal People Days -- those days where I eat like a "normal" person. That is, someone who doesn't constantly have to think about food all the time. I didn't make any really terrible decisions and I tracked everything I ate, but I fully anticipate a small gain at my next weigh in. But then I have to ask myself if that's really that big of a deal.

I love my Friday morning Weight Watchers meeting in a way I hadn't really anticipated. It's not just the leader (who I love) or the other members (who I also love). Everything just kind of clicks. When I went to meetings a year ago, I just don't think I was mentally in the right space to be there. But this time I find myself really looking forward to each meeting and I know, without a doubt, right now is the right time for me to be there.

I just am not sure if it's the right time for me to be trying to lose weight.

So, I suppose, the question is if it's weird to be going to meetings, paying the money, just to work on maintaining 235 for the foreseeable future? I mean, I tried maintaining on my own but didn't, which is why I ended up at WW just a couple months after FitBloggin. But, again, I get so much out of my meetings that go far beyond those few minutes at the beginning when I step on the scale.

I am fairly confident that I will not get back down to 175 ever again. I don't know if I'll ever get down to onederland ever again. But I also don't think I need to. Life is pretty damn good right now at 235 and I have to weigh (pun intended) the options of continually living a life spent chasing something I may not achieve or just saying Fuck It and rock what I got.

Maybe for right now I'll just try and maintain through the holidays which, as we all know, are full of danger days and then in January reevaluate.

Running a Turkey Trot on Thursday? There's still time to sign up for my Virtual #Birfday5K to score yourself another medal for the same race!

Love from the ashes
Lady Lazarus

15 November 2014

birfday shenanigans & weigh in

Hello and Happy Saturday!! Right now I'm nestled up in a big ol' cozy house in the Cuyahoga Valley National Park because it's gladsome time once again!

I had an absolutely lovely birthday that started by treating myself to a long overdue hair cut and a new set of knives! These are from Aldi and the set I have been using is, like, 10 years old (or close to it) so it was definitely time for an upgrade.

I love me my cooking so having a decent set of knives is essential.

 The rest of my day was just perfect, thanks in no small part thanks to the wonderful BC. We went to 16 Bit Bar for drinks -- it's a barcade which is exactly what it sounds like. As long as you're drinking (and it's all craft beer) you can play classic arcade games for free. (They do have pinball but that costs quarters.) We've been wanting to check it out since it opened but it's always so busy on the weekends so my birthday being on a Wednesday was the perfect opportunity.

Note: do not drink and play driving video games. It doesn't end well. LOL.

Drinking was followed by dinner at Jammy Buggers, which is another local favorite of ours.

I felt confident going into this week's weigh in and I was right to feel that way as I lost 2.6 pounds this week! That brings my total to exactly 10 pounds! My 5% is 12, so hopefully I'll be hitting that in the next few weeks.

I did do one new thing this week which was count points on the weekend and do Simply Filling during the work week. SF is super easy for me during the week because I will just make up some casseroles or soups or whatever that I know are SF on Sunday and eat those for lunch and dinner and I know what go to snacks and breakfast foods are SF as well. Weekends, however, are trickier because that's when I'm eating out more and it's not as structured or as easy to plan.

My first two weeks back on Weight Watchers, I was doing Simple Start/Simply Filling all the time and because of the weekends just eating all 49 points over the weekend and just eat Power Foods the week. That worked for awhile but then I had gains last week and the week before so it was time for a new plan. After looking at my food choices Friday and Saturday and realizing they weren't that bad, I decided to count points those days and then Monday through Thursday (even my birthday) it was Simply Filling and clearly that worked.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

12 November 2014

three three

Over the weekend, BC and I went to see "Interstellar" or, as he likes to call it, "McConaughey In Space." Not to give too much away (after all, River Song is my spirit animal so "Spoilers!" is my mantra), the film deals with space travel of such extreme distances that relativity not only comes into play but is actually a major plot point. I mention this only because, well, today is mah birfday so growing older is on my mind and usually this time of year I get a little bit nostalgic.

Truthfully, though, as I inch closer to my mid-thirties, I find myself less interested in looking back and more interested in looking forward.

The magic of PicMonkey

I spent most of my twenties, well, not exactly floundering but feeling a little lost. Like I had no idea what the fuck I was doing while all of my friends and family had all their shit together. Like the lovely Margaret Atwood once wrote, Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.

(Of course, now I realize pretty much everyone feels that way, they all just managed to hide it really, really well.)

My thirties started in Las Vegas on a family trip and started out pretty well, although thirty-one was a rough year but as I rounded the corner of thirty-two, things began to pick up steam and lots of really awesome things happened this past year, including the fact that I started dating BC and got a book contract, which I've been working on over the past couple of months (subject is not related to this blog). Both of these things are moving in a very positive direction that makes me excited and happy for the upcoming year and all the others coming after it.

So, I guess that's the difference this year. In the past I maybe never felt like I had anything concrete to look forward to as I got older and while, obviously, I have no idea what actually will happen in the future, I have a really, really good feeling about the direction my life is headed. Not just in a vague sort of semi-optimistic way, but in a life-affirming, positive, I have proof life is awesome kind of way.

Since today is mah birfday that means it's the LAST DAY to get the Early Bird pricing on my Virtual #Birfday5K. For more information on the 5K and why I'm choosing the Cleveland International Film Festival as my non-profit of choice, see this post.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

08 November 2014

weigh in & danger days

No video post today because my Friday was, yet again, comprised of me running around doing errands. Luckily I was up early enough to get it all done. And by early enough, I mean 5 am. Why? I have absofuckinglutely no idea but I decided to just roll with it and since I was up, decided to head to the gym.

I'm weird about wearing race shirts and usually will only wear tech ones, which luckily the Bernie Shuffle shirt is. Plus, hi, it has Bernie Kosar's face on it. LOL. What's not to love?

Then, of course, I headed to my Weight Watchers meeting. I will preface this by saying I once again had some struggles this week so I was not surprised with my .4 gain. I think there are two things going on: First, I think there's a weird mental game going on in my head related to losing weight. This is not new and the fact that I was so close to ten pounds last week was what I think made something go a little wonky. So I have to address that. The second thing is sugar. I was doing so so so well when I drastically reduced my sugar intake. But then, of course, Halloween hit and I let it back in and at the time it only seemed like a little bit here and there, but obviously not. So focusing on sugar is my goal for this week.

At the meeting, one of the things we talked about was identifying the high-risk days that will be coming up in the next few weeks as the holidays roll around. These would be days that will prove to be more of a challenge than just a normal day, like work parties and family gatherings and the like. In an effort to set myself up for success, as soon as I got home I sat down and made myself a calendar.

These are hanging in my kitchen, right above my coffee maker so I will be forced to look at them every morning. Right now I don't have too many Danger Days (as I'm calling them only 'cause it sounds better LOL) but as the months progress and more events pop up I'm sure I'll have more to keep an eye on. The one next week is actually mah birfday and I know I'll be going out with BC that night so I can plan in advance by working out that morning and racking up APs over the next couple of days. (Having my FitBit synced to my e-Tools is amazing, but that's for another post!)

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

05 November 2014

drink NOOMA! Review & Giveaway

So today I'm going to talk to you guys about NOOMA, an electrolyte hydration drink without acids or preservatives. Bonus: it's a local Cleveland company! I first sampled NOOMA after a Yoga Rocks the Park Cleveland event and have also seen it sold at Harness Cycle, so when they reached out and asked if I'd be interested in talking about the product on my blog I said yes. They sent me a package of cartons of NOOMA to try out and they are also going to let one of you fabulous readers receive a package, too!

NOOMA comes in four flavors: Cherry Lime, Mangosteen, Blueberry Peach, and Chocolate Mint. One fun thing included in my package was a book of recipes to use with NOOMA and the morning before the Running the Brides race I hydrated with a drink made from cold coffee, greek yogurt, and Chocolate Mint. Other recipes in the book include a Skinny Pina Colada using the Mangosteen NOOMA and Banana-Apple Bliss smoothie with Cherry-Lime!

One of the goals the guys behind NOOMA had in creating their product was to create a drink that replenished electrolytes without acids or preservatives or any of that sometimes icky stuff that shows up in other sports hydration drinks. Not only did they achieve that goal, NOOMA is also gluten free, vegan and only 10 calories with 2 grams of natural cane sugar. By using NOOMA after a workout you can be sure you're filling your body with quality ingredients without having to worry that you're gulping down a sugary drink (thus undoing all the work you just did).

So now is YOUR opportunity to try NOOMA as one lucky winner will get one case of any flavor of NOOMA they want.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway closes on Sunday, November 9th at 11:59 pm. Winner will have 48 hours to claim prize, which is a case of one flavor of NOOMA. US Residents only.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

03 November 2014

race recap: Bernie Shuffle 5K

So, the Bernie Shuffle was a 5K named in honor of former Cleveland Browns player Bernie Kosar, who left the Browns in 1993 but the city still has a huge soft spot for him. I admittedly am not much of a football fan (of course, that didn't stop me from accepting free tickets for yesterday's game and I even wore my shirt from this race. Truthfully I had way more fun at the game than I anticipated) but there was a sweet finisher's medal that totally won me over so soon after the RnRCLE Race Weekend was cancelled and I had a refund coming my way, I registered.

Of course, the 8 am start time did not win me over and as I indicated in Friday's video, I was still very much on the fence about racing. In fact, I didn't decide for sure until getting back from the bar and into bed around 2:30 am, at which point I set my alarm for 6:30 am.

The race started downtown at Voinovich Park and not only was it super early but super cold, windy, and sleety. I had previously completed a race with similar conditions and was so not looking forward to it and after parking my car a couple blocks away and heading towards the Park I decided I was just going to walk the full 3.1 miles. I haven't been running as much but I have been walking and enjoying it. Lately running kind of stresses me out in that it's not fun anymore way but walking does not so if I was going to be out there in crappy weather I was going to do what I could to make it less miserable.

It was still raining and overcast when the race started and soon after we crossed the start line I noticed a big group of people had stopped off to one side and were yelling and cheering.

Ohhh. Hey there, Bernie.

Admittedly that's pretty cool that he was there (although equally unsurprising) but I just snapped a photo and went along my merry way instead of hanging around trying to get closer. (He also did individual fan photos at the end of the race, too.)

I actually had the best time walking. For one thing this was a huge race. Like probably close to 1000 huge and most were not runners but were, in fact, just Cleveland Browns fans. This meant that I'd guess at least half, if not the majority, were walking. So instead of feeling like a slow straggler I was actually walking with a big pack of people the entire route.

Plus, by not being worried about pace or anything I could just focus on walking and having fun. I haven't been running as much so I knew I'd be hurting and struggling but by just walking I felt strong and motivated. I may have to seriously consider walking more races.

This was self-timed, so no chips or even any clocks. Basically it was a fun run but I set my watch as I crossed the start line and finished in 57:18. That's a 18:29 minute mile which I'm pretty happy with.

Like I said, this was a run for bling situation and after crossing the finish line and getting my medal I realized the rain and cold and lack of sleep was well-worth it.

Once I got back home I took a ridiculously hot shower then got back into bed and slept for a few more hours. Then BC and I went out for a late lunch at Great Lakes Brewery.

Between Friday and Saturday alone I had 30,000 steps and earned 21 Activity Points, which to put it in perspective, is how many APs I earned all of last week. I could have used that as an opportunity to really eat off plan, but instead I ordered the grilled chicken sandwich and instead of fries got the seasonal vegetable, which were these really good seasoned green beans. BC ordered some soft pretzels as an appetizer to share and I, obviously, ordered a beer but I tracked everything and with my weekly points and then those earned APs I feel really good about my eating out choices.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

01 November 2014

Weight Watchers Weigh In Week Four

Okay, so I gained a little bit but I totally anticipated it because I know I didn't make the best choices this week. BUT I'm taking it as feedback for what better choices I can make this upcoming week to have a better weigh-in next Friday. The fact that I gained 10 APs from all the running around yesterday is also extra motivation to stay on track.

BUT here is the rest of my costume, all put together!

Soooooo my friends and I did a group costume of Carnival Freaks and I'm the Torso Lady. This is a tricky costume because you have to create a costume with no legs and I was looking up actual Torso Ladies from the side show circuit way back when and came across an ad for a woman and she was being carried on, like, a pillow by this guy. Prior to that I had been contemplating looking like I was sitting on a table but after that I was obsessed with the idea of a guy carrying me (hence Rahoul) and started researching illusion costumes.

Rahoul himself is kind of creepy and I got all sorts of comments related to that. Not, just, comments from people trying to figure it out but just comments about Rahoul in general. Of course, I can't see that but after my friend Lauren took this pic I finally understood.

This is by far my most favorite costume I've ever done and I have no doubt I'll be saving this costume and recycling it in the future.

Also, I did run my race! But you'll have to wait and here more about that on Monday or Tuesday.

Also also! It's November! That means my Virtual Birfday 5K is officially open. Have you registered yet? Check out this post for more information.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus
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