At the beginning of the year, instead of making any resolutions or anything, I committed to running one race per month for 2015. So far I have held true to that goal and this Saturday is September's race! I'll be joining some of my fellow CLE Marathon Ambassadors in the Akron Marathon Relay where I'll be running the 4th Leg, which is 3.6 miles.
I am, admittedly, super nervous. Not so much about the running part (although, sort of, but more on that in a minute). Mostly about the logistics of the race, as my section requires me to park and then take the shuttle to the start of the leg. It's also in a city I'm not very familiar with but luckily my parents live not too far so I'll be sleeping at their place the night before and leaving early the next morning to get to Akron. I also have to figure out picking up my packet on Friday. A teammate has offered to pick up packets for those of us not super close to Akron, but then, of course, that adds in the logistics of getting my stuff from him before the race. Luckily, I think I'll be able to leave work a little early Friday afternoon which will give me time to get to the Expo and then to my parents by dinner time.
My team, which is full of fast runners, is well aware that I am a slow runner. I mean, when we ran the races back in May, many of them finished the Cleveland Marathon in the same amount of time it took me to finish the Half. They are, quite literally, twice as fast as I am. But even though they know I'm slow, I still feel myself wanting to do that thing where I'm all "No, but, like, when I say I'm 'slow,' I mean I'm really slow."
On Monday we were all discussing the logistics and timing and trying to figure out meeting up for photos and such after and our team captain made a comment related to the anticipated finish time based on what he knows about the other runners. That made me feel so much better because it's about what I figured our final time would be, too, which means that, yes, they know how long it's going to take me to run my leg.
Still, though, being a member of a team is a completely different mindset. Normally when I run a race, I run alone so I don't have to worry too much about finish time unless I'm after a PR. With this, though, I'm all OMG CAN'T LET MY TEAM DOWN. That, I think, is adding to the logistical anxiety because I'm all "OMG, what if I'm late?" or "OMG, what if I can't figure out where to go?" or "OMG what if I take forEVER to finish my leg?"
I'm working out a race day plan to try and calm myself down and my mantra is Team CLE Believes In You. If time really was a concern or priority for any of the other members, they wouldn't have accepted me on their team. I told them how long it should take me and I plan on sticking to that, both for their sake and mine. But if I'm running and feeling nervous or too slow, I'll just repeat my mantra to myself to hopefully get me back into the groove.
Love from the ashes,