10 June 2016

#anklegate update

So when we last left our hero, she had her one week ankle follow-up, at which point her doctor was "cautiously optimistic" he'd be able to put her in a walking cast when he saw her the next time.

Yesterday I left work a few hours early and headed to the doctor's office with that in my head because while I can totally handle wearing the cast, the not being able to put weight on it is, quite literally, the worst thing ever.

Case in point: Wednesday night I had plans after work that I had every intention of going to. I went so far as to drive to the location. Only when I got to the location I realized there was no safe or easy way for me to get from the car to my bar.

Option 1: Street parking right out front. While the location was ideal, I had no way of getting my little scooter that I've been using at the office since I have to open the rear door in the middle of rush hour traffic on a  fairly busy street. This meant dealing with crutches, again, on a fairly busy street and then I'd be stuck with crutches all night which just, no.

Option 2: Side street parking. While this would give me a place to safely set up the scooter, all of the prime locations were taken so I'd have to park at the bottom of the hill. So, yeah, going uphill on either the scooter or crutches sounded like another accident waiting to happen.

Option 3: Park in the public parking spot across the street. Had this occurred to me first, I may have made it to the event. After all, it was a safe and secure location to set up the scooter, I just had to get across the busy street. But, instead, this was my last option after twenty minutes of trying to figure this out and the idea of trying to get across a street during rush hour made me so nervous I literally started crying (I partially blame PMS).

In the end, I profusely apologized to friends, went home, and started reading Stephen King's latest novel from the comfort of my couch.

So yeah, this whole "not walking" bullshit is a pain in the fucking ass. Wearing the cast, showering with the cast, dealing with the heat that comes with wearing a big fucking heavy sock -- all minor annoyances compared to not being able to put weight on the cast. So, needless to say, I was really really hoping my doctor's appointment would go well.

I did get to see my left leg for the first time in three weeks!


Not pictured: how hairy it is considering I haven't been able to shave it in, like, a month. 

It actually looks a normal color and I'm a little sad I never thought to snap a photo with it all bruised for comparison's sake. Still a little swollen but it looks soooo much better.

Got some x-rays done then the doctor came back.

"So, the good news is your x-rays look good and I'm putting you in a walking cast. Bad news is, I'm not going to let you walk in it."

That's literally what he said: You get a walking cast but I'm not letting you walking in it.

YOU GODDAMN MOTHERFU--

Just kidding (sort of). I knew it was a long shot. This is week four of the four to six recovery plan, it was pushing it with the four weeks but still there was that teeny tiny little voice hoping for the best. Alas.

As was explained to me last time, the only difference between a "walking cast" and a "non-walking cast" is the angle of the foot. Last time, he positioned my foot a certain way due to the injury. Now, my foot is at a normal 90 degree angle.


I'm looking at two more weeks of crutching and scootering around this great city of Cleveland. And by "this great city of Cleveland" I really mean to and from work because that's about all I can manage. I've basically become a hermit although I can do minor errands. Unsurprisingly, my introverted self is completely okay with this arrangement although I do miss seeing all of my friends.

(I attempted to go grocery shopping two weeks ago. I insisted on going alone because I'm all self-sufficient and independent and how hard could it be? I came home and made BC promise to never let me do that ever again. As long as I'm only picking up a couple of very light things that I can stick in the basket on my scooter it's fine, but anything beyond that, nope.)

Also, full transparency, I don't know how this week's Broken Ankle Diet weigh in is going to go because I've been so anxious about the appointment this week and then after getting the verdict plus the monthly timing, this has pretty much been me:


The doctor did promise me that in two weeks he'll let me start walking again! Yay! I'll still be wearing something, but he won't know if I'll be in a boot or another walking cast until he sees the x-rays in two weeks.

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

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