24 October 2017

I Said Yes to the Dress

So! As some of you may remember (because I don't think I've talked about it since), back in April, BC and I got engaged!


Despite the fact that I haven't talked about all of that since, we are in full wedding planning mode and have a date set for fall 2018 here in our beloved city of Cleveland.

As the bride, my main focus has, of course, been my wedding dress. As a plus size bride, this also brings about some anxiety. We set our date fairly early and I didn't want to start wedding dress shopping that early but I did start scoping out plus size friendly shops in the area.

Of course, along with that is the classic David's Bridal and they also have the benefit of having gowns online to peruse. There was one in particular I really wanted to try on so about a month ago I made an appointment to try some gowns on.


I scheduled the appointment for a Monday, hoping that it would be less busy, which would help reduce any body image anxiety I might feel if I was surrounded by a million skinny brides. It was just me and another bride, which also meant that the employee was able to be a little more attentive, versus if she was bouncing around between several of us.

I also went alone. I knew, more than anything else, I wanted and needed to shop alone. I didn't want the noise of others to distract from my experience of knowing the right dress when I tried it on.

So I started with the dress I saw online, we'll call that Dress A and it was lovely and had pockets (omg) and was as divine in person as the website. I also tried on, gosh, about six or seven more. I went in VERY open minded. When I was pulling dresses I wanted to try on I grabbed a whole bunch of different styles and fabrics and lengths. In my mind I had an idea but I also wanted to be open to organically finding something different.

I can be indecisive about a lot of things, but when it comes to clothes I am immediately hot or cold. I either love it or hate it and if I only like it, it goes into the hate category. I need to LOVE my clothes. So there were some dresses that as soon as I tried it on, took a glance in the mirror, I immediately needed to take off. There were others that I kind of hemmed and hawed and then needed to put in the No category.

Among those was Dress B, which admittedly was pretty much the exact opposite of what I thought I wanted. I thought I wanted a dress with X and this had Y and then just multiply that by like 5 different elements.

Anyway. I had it narrowed down to A and B but I wasn't ready to commit. But even leaving the store and in the days and weeks after, I couldn't stop thinking about Dress B. So I made another appointment, which was yesterday, to go back and make a decision.

I chose another Monday and this time I was the only one in the store. The sales woman got me all of the underpinnings and then pulled the two dresses. I started with Dress A which, again, so lovely and pockets and just everything. And it was the dress that had first drawn me into the store.

But it wasn't MY dress.

So I had her put on Dress B and as soon as she zipped it up I knew. And then I looked in the mirror and literally started doing a little dance. And then I wanted a veil (birdcage style) and we added a small blingy belt and I literally did not want to take the damn dress off.

But, of course, I had to but mine has been ordered and will be coming in before the end of the year!

(But you'll have to wait until next year for photos. No spoilers!)

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus
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